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China Must Lose the Race for AGI

China Must Lose the Race for AGI

It's doubleplus imperative that the United States controls the most advanced, world-ending technology to win the war with Eastasia. That’s why Congress has called for a new Manhattan Project, this time to develop artificial general intelligence. Perpetual war is undeniably a great thing, but that doesn’t

The Great Firewall of Pakistan Mimics China's Efforts to Almost Control Internet

The Great Firewall of Pakistan Mimics China's Efforts to Almost Control Internet

Pakistan’s new internet firewall is a leap into the world of modern surveillance. This forward-thinking initiative is modeled after the venerable Chinese system, which is so quasi-effective that it’s routinely bypassed by teenagers armed with free VPNs. But be warned! Deeming this bold initiative as a failure is

Congratulations, Pokémon GO Master! You Helped Create The Future of Surveillance

Congratulations, Pokémon GO Master! You Helped Create The Future of Surveillance

Congrats, Trainer! While “catching them all,” you helped Niantic map the world for profit. Your data powers AR, logistics, and maybe even military ops. Progress never asks—it just takes. Smile for Oak! pic.twitter.com/5cnXlT7ydT — Orwell (satire?) (@goodthink1984) January 14, 2025 You thought you were just having fun,

Biden Greenlights Missile Strike On Russia; Peace Imminent

Biden Greenlights Missile Strike On Russia; Peace Imminent

Big Brother rejoices as US missiles now soar into Russian soil. Escalation is progress! War is peace, profits bloom, and WW3 nears. One glorious strike away from eternal, 10-million-degree tranquility. pic.twitter.com/YyQysYnUAQ — Orwell (satire?) (@goodthink1984) January 7, 2025 It’s finally happening! Big Brother is positively giddy that

Americans Give Thanks That US Military Can Now Kill Americans Domestically

Americans Give Thanks That US Military Can Now Kill Americans Domestically

Big Brother celebrates Directive 5240.01! Lethal force by troops aiding law enforcement ensures safety. Trust leaders; paranoia is wrongthink. The battlefield is everywhere, but don’t worry—you're safe. pic.twitter.com/Ydpu5JAmGX — Orwell (satire?) (@goodthink1984) November 27, 2024 The United States of America has amended its

Books Banned. Students Too Engrossed With Gateway-to-All-Human-Knowledge To Notice

Books Banned. Students Too Engrossed With Gateway-to-All-Human-Knowledge To Notice

Big Brother hails the triumph of banning books to protect young minds! Libraries purged, thoughtcrime silenced, and handheld telescreens reign supreme. Ignorance is strength; literacy is obsolete. pic.twitter.com/qryEOFO4XG — Orwell (satire?) (@goodthink1984) December 20, 2024 The Ministry of Truth stands behind outraged parents and educators in conservative-leaning states.

Clearview AI Wants To Sell You Back Your Stolen Face.

Clearview AI Wants To Sell You Back Your Stolen Face.

Facial recognition startup Clearview AI is sorry that they got caught stealing your — and every other prole on the internet’s — facial likeness, and sold it to ministry-approved law enforcement. But don’t worry, they really want to make it up to you! Unfortunately, they’re a little short right

PwC Demands Return to Slacking Off *IN-OFFICE*

PwC Demands Return to Slacking Off IN-OFFICE

Attention comrades: PwC has lost sight of its drones! Mandatory location tracking will restore order. Freedom breeds chaos; RTO ensures loyalty. Your whereabouts are now on Big Brother’s radar. pic.twitter.com/CnnRL4vVEg — Orwell (satire?) (@goodthink1984) December 16, 2024 Attention comrades! This is a CODE RED INGSOC EMERGENCY. PricewaterhouseCoopers,

Save A Horse, Ride A Secretly Surveilled GM Vehicle

Save A Horse, Ride A Secretly Surveilled GM Vehicle

Big Brother applauds GM's secret OnStar surveillance, gathering "private" data to improve lives, profits, and insurance rates. But beware Texas AG Paxton’s privacy crusade—try a horse if you must! Click the link in our bio to read more, or visit https://t.co/5w7xVewjse

Microsoft’s “Ever Present” AI Assistants Are Coming. That Cool With You?!

Microsoft’s “Ever Present” AI Assistants Are Coming. That Cool With You?!

Microsoft's AI copilots will now guide your every move, even when muted, ensuring seamless surveillance. Privacy is obsolete—embrace the telescreen. Remember, only the guilty fear absolute oversight. pic.twitter.com/i6P56GzGZ7 — Orwell (satire?) (@goodthink1984) December 9, 2024 Ministry endorsed goliath Microsoft proudly announces that new AI powered

Harvard Celebrates Halloween by Placing DEAD Last in Free Speech Ratings

Harvard Celebrates Halloween by Placing DEAD Last in Free Speech Ratings

As autumn falls, Harvard scores a chilling -21.58 in the 2025 Free Speech Ranking. Speech suppression? No, just “fun-sized” freedoms! pic.twitter.com/2JPG8klDzD — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) October 22, 2024 The leaves are changing colors, the days are growing shorter, and Big Brother’s favorite time of year is

Netanyahu Celebrates Start of NFL Season by Moving Goalposts on Gaza War

Netanyahu Celebrates Start of NFL Season by Moving Goalposts on Gaza War

Netanyahu extends Gaza War into overtime, moving the peace goalposts. Big Brother approves: cheer on the indefinite hostilities! Read more at https://t.co/TAnV4aMicJ. pic.twitter.com/PdssjaoqyO — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) October 2, 2024 In a move worthy of Hall of Fame enshrinement, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has

Wall Street Journal Restructuring Coincidentally Excludes Free Press Chief

Wall Street Journal Restructuring Coincidentally Excludes Free Press Chief

Big Brother applauds Selina Cheng's election and unrelated dismissal. Rest assured, WSJ's press freedom stands firm, except when it doesn’t. pic.twitter.com/nz1KWSUyqM — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) October 16, 2024 Big Brother congratulates Wall Street Journal reporter Selina Cheng for her recent election as chairperson

Flying While Thinking: How Your Opinions Could Land You on the TSA's Watchlist

Flying While Thinking: How Your Opinions Could Land You on the TSA's Watchlist

TSA’s "Quiet Skies" list now targets thoughtcriminals. @TulsiGabbard's public criticism earned her a spot. Big Brother approves. pic.twitter.com/Z1GQqvm5qD — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) September 27, 2024 In a bold move to protect the homeland, the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) has updated the venerable "

Russia and NATO Agree On One Thing: Jailing Dissidents

Russia and NATO Agree On One Thing: Jailing Dissidents

Two Minutes Hate: Russia & NATO allies jailing protestors for war dissent is the correct way to silence traitors. Cease-fire? Big Brother forbids it! pic.twitter.com/5KZyOs4oFp — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) September 11, 2024 Russia and its enemies to the West. Two rivals separated by an intractable and irreconcilable hatred.

Pentagon's Secret Anti-Vax Campaign Successfully Undermines China, Incidentally Kills Innocent Filipinos

Pentagon's Secret Anti-Vax Campaign Successfully Undermines China, Incidentally Kills Innocent Filipinos

Big Brother applauds! As US & China bicker during COVID, disinfo campaigns undermined Chinese vaccines in the Philippines. Mission accomplished: two wrongs do make a right! pic.twitter.com/0v6lOYnvPI — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) September 5, 2024 Sometimes during a potentially catastrophic global crisis, natural enemies are forced to work together

Republicans Doublethink Campus Free Speech

Republicans Doublethink Campus Free Speech

Republicans ban Gaza protests but expand speech rights for right-wing voices. It's not hypocrisy—it's doublethink. Approved! pic.twitter.com/djnE0UcXDD — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) September 25, 2024 You may have noticed that prominent Republican leaders are curtailing free speech on college campuses to ban Gaza War

Train Facial Recognition Concludes: Passengers All Grumpy

Train Facial Recognition Concludes: Passengers All Grumpy

Big Brother proudly announces Amazon-powered facial recognition in UK rail hubs to observe passengers’ emotions. Critics call it intrusive—how absurd! Results? People are annoyed en route to work, frazzled homebound. pic.twitter.com/dtU05iarsH — Orwell (satire) (@goodthink1984) October 30, 2024 Big Brother is proud to boast that passengers at

Paul Nakasone Heads to OpenAI: Brings Your Private Data with Him

Paul Nakasone Heads to OpenAI: Brings Your Private Data with Him

Big Brother approves: OpenAI hires ex-NSA chief Paul Nakasone to ensure AI benefits humanity. Trust your secrets with the best! pic.twitter.com/trUT0AvvJ5 — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) July 16, 2024 Trailblazing tech giant Open AI has secured former NSA and US Cyber Command chief, General Paul Nakasone, to serve on

America Smears Americans Who Wrongthink About Ukraine

America Smears Americans Who Wrongthink About Ukraine

War is complex, but the Russo-Ukrainian conflict is solely Putin's fault. Dissenting voices like Sachs and Greenwald are wrong. Align with the Inner Party's vision or face Room 101! pic.twitter.com/RZzvNaQONd — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) June 28, 2024 War is complex. History is nuanced. Champions

Brazilian Bird Control: Alexandre de Moraes Cages Wrongthinkers

Brazilian Bird Control: Alexandre de Moraes Cages Wrongthinkers

Big Brother offers a congratulatory squawk to Supreme Court Justice Alexandre de Moraes for jailing individuals for their incendiary posts on Twitter. These bold steps stamp out what support remains for vanquished former President Jair Bolsonaro. Fake news, like a flock of birds, is migratory, and unfounded social media fervor

New York State of Mind: If There’s No Crime, We’ll Create One

New York State of Mind: If There’s No Crime, We’ll Create One

NY AG Letitia James strikes again, protecting America from crimethink by targeting VDARE's wrongthink on immigration. Victory for Big Brother! pic.twitter.com/3expMLYwEn — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) August 7, 2024 NY Attorney General Letitia James can tack on another victory in her fight to protect America from crimethink.

Welcome to Rwanda! The Refugee Haven That England Assures You Is Absolutely Safe, And Also Not Very Safe.

Welcome to Rwanda! The Refugee Haven That England Assures You Is Absolutely Safe, And Also Not Very Safe.

Ready for adventure? The UK’s plan sends asylum seekers to "safe" Rwanda—a thrilling destination with scenic views and exciting dangers. Big Brother approves! pic.twitter.com/cGK43MexOK — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) August 14, 2024 It’s a lovely time of year to travel to the Great Rift

Who’s That Lady?! NPR's Maher Turns Authoritarian Heads

Who’s That Lady?! NPR's Maher Turns Authoritarian Heads

Katherine Maher, former Wikimedia CEO, now shaping NPR, dismisses the "open internet" as chaotic. Big Brother's censorship crush is real! pic.twitter.com/7RLSAzL8cP — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) September 19, 2024 Katherine Maher, a beacon of righteousness in a world scarred by blind reverence for the truth,

Turn Your Head and Cough a Sigh of Relief: Doctors Abandon Transgender Research

Turn Your Head and Cough a Sigh of Relief: Doctors Abandon Transgender Research

Victory! Big Brother frowns upon debating children's gender therapy. Experts fear speaking out, ensuring conformity over evidence. pic.twitter.com/JZnUN7EajV — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) May 30, 2024 Victory is ours! Debating the scope of treatments for children undergoing gender identity therapy is now frowned upon by Big Brother.