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Paul Nakasone Heads to OpenAI: Brings Your Private Data with Him

Paul Nakasone Heads to OpenAI: Brings Your Private Data with Him

Big Brother approves: OpenAI hires ex-NSA chief Paul Nakasone to ensure AI benefits humanity. Trust your secrets with the best! pic.twitter.com/trUT0AvvJ5 — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) July 16, 2024 Trailblazing tech giant Open AI has secured former NSA and US Cyber Command chief, General Paul Nakasone, to serve on

America Smears Americans Who Wrongthink About Ukraine

America Smears Americans Who Wrongthink About Ukraine

War is complex, but the Russo-Ukrainian conflict is solely Putin's fault. Dissenting voices like Sachs and Greenwald are wrong. Align with the Inner Party's vision or face Room 101! pic.twitter.com/RZzvNaQONd — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) June 28, 2024 War is complex. History is nuanced. Champions

Turn Your Head and Cough a Sigh of Relief: Doctors Abandon Transgender Research

Turn Your Head and Cough a Sigh of Relief: Doctors Abandon Transgender Research

Victory! Big Brother frowns upon debating children's gender therapy. Experts fear speaking out, ensuring conformity over evidence. pic.twitter.com/JZnUN7EajV — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) May 30, 2024 Victory is ours! Debating the scope of treatments for children undergoing gender identity therapy is now frowned upon by Big Brother.

White House Helpfully Erases Biden Gaffe From Official Record

White House Helpfully Erases Biden Gaffe From Official Record

Celebrate the Biden administration's dedication to a correct history. Don't dwell on "inaudible" stage directions. Mistakes happen... or do they? pic.twitter.com/VYYnZa1rfq — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) June 6, 2024 Despite what you may have heard, US President Joe Biden did not, in fact,

HP Squashes Ink Rebellion

Big Brother's favorite, HP, ensures only official ink works. Your usage is monitored, and printing is controlled, securing your obedient future. pic.twitter.com/PlOFkwxuBr — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) May 24, 2024 Big Brother’s new favorite Silicon Valley stalwart, Hewlett-Packard, has improved its products to be even more

New Law Passed to Keep J.K. Rowling Off Social Media

New Law Passed to Keep J.K. Rowling Off Social Media

J.K. Rowling's social media discomfort unites all. Scotland's Hate Crime Act silences dissent, ensuring state-prescribed opinions prevail. pic.twitter.com/ztzhTPGhXy — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) June 13, 2024 People across the spectrum of cultural politics have united on one topic: the things J.K. Rowling posts

Putin Victorious Despite Only Winning 87% of Vote

Putin Victorious Despite Only Winning 87% of Vote

Big Brother applauds Putin's narrow reelection victory, despite only 87% support. He should aim higher, like Obiang's 97% or al-Assad's 95%. Aim higher, President Putin! pic.twitter.com/uHEgbkqVUh — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) June 11, 2024 In a razor-thin result reminiscent of the 2000 US

Chinese Takeout: House Orders TikTok Ban

Chinese Takeout: House Orders TikTok Ban

U.S. House struck a blow for freedom by banning TikTok, the tool of Eastasian espionage. Trust in American tech only! The end of conflict is near. pic.twitter.com/NFuIlLRI0Z — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) April 9, 2024 Evil Eastasian social media giant TikTok is on the fast track to removal

Spring Cleaning FBI Style: A Fragrant Reform

Spring Cleaning FBI Style: A Fragrant Reform

Embrace the renewal of spring with refreshed surveillance laws! Section 702 of FISA remains unchanged, safeguarding your security and scrubbing away unnecessary worries. pic.twitter.com/dsZ85f2gIj — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) May 7, 2024 Spring has sprung and it’s time to dust the cobwebs off Section 702 of the Foreign

The Happiest Surveillance State on Earth

The Happiest Surveillance State on Earth

Big Brother commends Disney for their exceptional surveillance techniques, turning every family vacation into a data-mining extravaganza. Consent has never been so magical! pic.twitter.com/AghkeiT0We — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) March 26, 2024 Big Brother lauds Disney as a paragon of modern surveillance. The House of Mouse has truly perfected

GOP Offers Kari Lake “Great Opportunity” to Stay Out of Politics

GOP Offers Kari Lake “Great Opportunity” to Stay Out of Politics

Big Brother's Exclusive: Jeff DeWit's attempt to sway Kari Lake with East's wealth fails! Next offer: A trendy Stanley Tumbler. Arizona GOP's fiery response to public dealings heats up. pic.twitter.com/x05krxojMj — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) March 19, 2024 Arizona GOP Chair

Cambridge University's New Motto: Conserve Energy. Burn a Book.

Cambridge University's New Motto: Conserve Energy. Burn a Book.

Cambridge Library's 814yrs of books get a cleanse. Problematic ideas out, safety in. No more wrongthink, just pure minds. pic.twitter.com/XWMnBXzOwI — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) March 11, 2024 A decolonizing drive awaits the 814-year-old Cambridge University library’s 10 million-odd books, which will now be purged of

North Carolina Makes Government Transparency Vanish! Finds Quarter Behind Your Ear

North Carolina Makes Government Transparency Vanish! Finds Quarter Behind Your Ear

North Carolina Makes Government Transparency Vanish! Finds Quarter Behind Your Ear! pic.twitter.com/VQTHPgY9bD — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) January 30, 2024 Step right up, citizens! Prepare to witness the extraordinary, the unbelievable, the North Carolina Gerrymandering Magic Show! A triumph of Big Brother's oversight! Watch with wonder as

America Unleashes Robocalypse for the Benefit of All

America Unleashes Robocalypse for the Benefit of All

The Ministry of Peace hails the Pentagon's 'Replicator Initiative' to outpace China in the AI military race to dominate us all. pic.twitter.com/Jd7j2yd90o — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) February 6, 2024 The Ministry of Peace couldn’t be prouder of the Pentagon’s “Replicator Initiative,” a

Muslims, Skater-dudes Labeled Extremists by UK

Muslims, Skater-dudes Labeled Extremists by UK

Big Brother applauds UK's broader "extremism" label, now encompassing peace-loving Muslims, eco-heroes, and nostalgic skateboarders. pic.twitter.com/YKk7fsIr87 — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) January 8, 2024 Big Brother smiles upon the UK’s planned expansion of the term “extremism” to include groups far beyond the previous definition.

Pope Saves World From the Most Blasphemous Scientific Discovery of All Time

Pope Saves World From the Most Blasphemous Scientific Discovery of All Time

By Pope Urban VIII Pope saves world from the most blasphemous scientific discovery of all time pic.twitter.com/jjuOtdDTGx — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) December 9, 2023 I am happy to announce that Galileo Galilei, of the misguided theory that Earth and all its splendor revolves around the Sun, has been

'Grief Tech' Creates AI Version of Dead Parents for You to Ignore

'Grief Tech' Creates AI Version of Dead Parents for You to Ignore

Big Brother's New Grief Tech: Immortalize Loved Ones in AI, Calls Optional! pic.twitter.com/DYLqrpkMvm — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) December 15, 2023 Big Brother is proud to jump on the 'grief tech' gravy train, allowing you to upload data about your dearly departed loved ones into

The Comfort of Vigilance Embraces America's Schools

The Comfort of Vigilance Embraces America's Schools

Big Brother celebrates peak surveillance in schools! Budgets shrink, but spy-tech thrives. pic.twitter.com/f8tNyaMDTK — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) December 29, 2023 Big Brother is elated to report that surveillance in our public schools has reached an all-time high and is still growing! In this educational landscape where budgets for

TED Supports Color Blindness by Suppressing TED Talk on Color Blindness

TED Supports Color Blindness by Suppressing TED Talk on Color Blindness

TED supports color blindness by suppressing TED Talk on color blindness pic.twitter.com/xrWPFtt5q2 — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) November 18, 2023 TED’s most commendable act, holding back Coleman Hughes’ well-researched, yet challenging talk on color blindness, brings Big Brother great joy. Tacking on a post-presentation rebuttal ensures the more

A Grand Proposal for NYC Statues: Banishment!

A Grand Proposal for NYC Statues: Banishment!

Plaques of shame or statues in repentance? It's time for a historic makeover that meets our impeccable standards. pic.twitter.com/jK1u4BqVYX — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) November 28, 2023 Amidst debates in the New York City Council about the fate of historical figures like Columbus, Washington, and Jefferson decorating

Harvard Celebrates Top Anti-Wrongthink Rating

Harvard Celebrates Top Anti-Wrongthink Rating

Harvard Celebrates Top Anti-Wrongthink Rating pic.twitter.com/5AqITaprX5 — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) November 2, 2023 Big news! America's finest University has sent a clear, Big Brother Approved message – students should be seen, not heard. Harvard has shown off its -10.6 free speech score from FIRE’s 2024

YOUR CAR HAS THE FOOTAGE. HONK IF YOU'RE READY FOR YOUR UNWITTING SEX TAPE DEBUT!

YOUR CAR HAS THE FOOTAGE. HONK IF YOU'RE READY FOR YOUR UNWITTING SEX TAPE DEBUT!

Meet the latest sedan - not merely a vehicle, but a personal surveillance companion! pic.twitter.com/S9Z413q1KP — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) November 6, 2023 Ah, cars. They've evolved from symbols of freedom to diligent informants, ensuring society remains in order. Buying a shiny new sedan? You're

Google Chrome Lovingly Spies On Your Browser History and It Would Like a Word With You

Google Chrome Lovingly Spies On Your Browser History and It Would Like a Word With You

#GoogleChrome lovingly spies on your browser history and it would like a word with you. pic.twitter.com/IFWaNomipD — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) October 13, 2023 Hey there, reader. I stumbled upon something while I was tracking your browser history. You know, to show you the ads that you're

Eyes On The Poor: A Guide To Modern Public Housing Management

Eyes On The Poor: A Guide To Modern Public Housing Management

Eyes on the Poor: A Guide to Modern Public Housing Management pic.twitter.com/j1T7RqIDhx — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) October 23, 2023 As the gap between landed gentry and lowly renters widens, Big Brother requires you to succeed as an American public housing landlord in 2023. To that end, here are

Behind Bars for Books: Unmasking the Subversive Intentions of Arkansas Librarians

Behind Bars for Books: Unmasking the Subversive Intentions of Arkansas Librarians

Behind the Bars for Books: Unmasking the Subversive Intentions of Arkansas Librarians pic.twitter.com/911L2vH3wL — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) September 27, 2023 Arkansas Gov. Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the torchbearer of wisdom and discretion, has signed a law set to nurture our young minds in the direction of truth and clarity.