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Behind Bars for Books: Unmasking the Subversive Intentions of Arkansas Librarians
AI Generated Image. Source: Midjourney

Behind Bars for Books: Unmasking the Subversive Intentions of Arkansas Librarians

Arkansas Gov. Sarah Huckabee Sanders, the torchbearer of wisdom and discretion, has signed a law set to nurture our young minds in the direction of truth and clarity. Dangerous library materials — prurient pornos like Small Town Pride, or And Tango Makes Three — can finally be challenged and removed from our children's reach.  

For too long, reckless librarians have bombarded the youth with books that feature unsettling concepts and characters. Little Johnny should be outside playing, not being forcibly exposed to alternative perspectives, or heaven forbid, penguins! We detect your seductive smokescreen Curious George, and we know what you’re really after you Very Hungry Caterpillar! 

Well, fret no more! A process is now in place to ensure that materials considered “obscene by community standards,” a definition these heathens deem too abstract to be properly enforced, are swiftly addressed.

Admittedly, some argue against this law, dubbing it "censorship." They claim it undermines the core values of intellectual freedom. But it's not censorship, it's guidance! As in, Big Brother will guide you into handcuffs if your pride-themed end cap is unsavory, or your civil rights recommendations spurious.  That’s right! “Possession, sale, or distribution” of material deemed obscene will be rightly marked a Class D felony punishable by up to six years in prison and $10,000 in fines.

The time has come to rally behind our leaders, heralding a new era where libraries will not be a wild jungle of diverse opinions, but rather an orderly garden of approved truths.



  • Earlier this year, Arkansas GOP Gov. Sarah Huckabee Sanders signed a law that would allow criminal charges against librarians and booksellers for providing “harmful” materials to minors.

  • The law, originally set to take effect Aug. 1, also aims to create a process to challenge library materials and request their relocation to areas not accessible by kids.

  • It would classify providing materials with nudity, sexual content, or lacking serious value for minors as a Class A misdemeanor, punishable by up to one year in jail and a fine of $2.5k.

  • The "Possession, sale, or distribution” of material deemed "obscene" would be punishable by up to six years in prison or $10k in fines.

  • The law was temporarily blocked by US District Judge Timothy L. Brooks just before taking effect, who ruled that the state’s definition of “harmful” materials was overly vague, arguing the law could encourage censorship decisions based on content or viewpoint.

Sources: NBC, The Guardian, People's World, The Washington Post, and AP.