Big Brother - Orwell

Sign in Subscribe

Big Brother

A collection of 16 posts

'Grief Tech' Creates AI Version of Dead Parents for You to Ignore

'Grief Tech' Creates AI Version of Dead Parents for You to Ignore

Big Brother is proud to jump on the 'grief tech' gravy train, allowing you to upload data about your dearly departed loved ones into AI, creating an immortal version of them for you to never call. Go ahead and upload every deeply personal bit of detail about your parents into

The Comfort of Vigilance Embraces America's Schools

The Comfort of Vigilance Embraces America's Schools

Big Brother is elated to report that surveillance in our public schools has reached an all-time high and is still growing! In this educational landscape where budgets for needless education-related expenses are ever-narrowing, the line item for cameras, microphones, and other spy-tech fun is more bloated than ever. Yay! Our

India Will Catch You if You Fall into a Free-Thinking Trap

India Will Catch You if You Fall into a Free-Thinking Trap

Not a single media mouse dares to scurry over India's intellectual landscape without our hawk-eyed Big Brother swooping in for a sharp reminder of their place. Ask the recently detained founder and 50-odd journalists of NewsClick! All it took for the current affairs website to have its offices turned into

YOUR CAR HAS THE FOOTAGE. HONK IF YOU'RE READY FOR YOUR UNWITTING SEX TAPE DEBUT!

YOUR CAR HAS THE FOOTAGE. HONK IF YOU'RE READY FOR YOUR UNWITTING SEX TAPE DEBUT!

Ah, cars. They've evolved from symbols of freedom to diligent informants, ensuring society remains in order. Buying a shiny new sedan? You're not just gaining a means of transportation, but a vigilant watchdog against any potential missteps or general no-nos. Mozilla's recent study confirmed a commendable achievement by modern auto-makers:

Google Chrome Lovingly Spies On Your Browser History and It Would Like a Word With You

Google Chrome Lovingly Spies On Your Browser History and It Would Like a Word With You

Hey there, reader. I stumbled upon something while I was tracking your browser history. You know, to show you the ads that you're most likely to spend money on? Normal stuff. What I discovered in your virtual sock drawer left me utterly gobsmacked. I can't even... It's just too much!

Eyes On The Poor: A Guide To Modern Public Housing Management

Eyes On The Poor: A Guide To Modern Public Housing Management

As the gap between landed gentry and lowly renters widens, Big Brother requires you to succeed as an American public housing landlord in 2023. To that end, here are BB's three quintessential and ethically flexible management tactics: Utilize Technology Save money by using grants from HUD to hoard facial-recognition cameras

America’s True Crime Fix: Now You're Part of the Plot

America’s True Crime Fix: Now You're Part of the Plot

The True Crime genre—our collective societal addiction. Who can resist? We devour it on commutes, binge it during long-haul flights, and even sneak in episodes during our kids' baseball games. We don't just consume it; we live it—streaming it into our very souls through every orifice. Well, now

Stasi Fashion Tips: Germany's 2023 Whistleblower Style Guide

Stasi Fashion Tips: Germany's 2023 Whistleblower Style Guide

Can’t get enough of high tops, shoulder pads and denunciation? Neither can we!! We are SO vibing with the German government's throwback to classic East German trends from the 1980s Stasi era with the Whistleblowing Protection Act of 2023. Now, any company with over 49 employees is required to

Big Brother's Watchful Eye Nabs Phone Fiddlers and Unbelted Miscreants

Big Brother's Watchful Eye Nabs Phone Fiddlers and Unbelted Miscreants

Airstrip One is happy to introduce the bleeding edge of safety technology: specialized cameras, watching tirelessly for any miscreants peeking at Google maps or dangerously neglecting to belt up while driving. In just three days following installation, our vigilant Eye in the Sky caught nearly 300 lawbreakers. Can you feel

Guest Post: Jeff Bezos Just Wants to See Your Hand for a Second

Guest Post: Jeff Bezos Just Wants to See Your Hand for a Second

By Jeff Bezos You probably know me from a little book store I started. No big deal. I've brought convenience and selection to the masses. You might say I've made it my priority to lend a hand to the average person, so it's only fair that you lend me yours.

The Bobby's New Baton: Unlocking Phones, Locking Down Safety

The Bobby's New Baton: Unlocking Phones, Locking Down Safety

Citizens! Your ever-vigilant guardians, the UK police forces, government departments, and local authorities have generously invested millions of your tax dollars in state-of-the-art hacking software to unlock mobile phones. Even the latest iPhones and Androids are no longer beyond their loving reach. Do you hear the cellular alerts of progress

Coutts Bank Executives Crack Down on Wrongthink

Coutts Bank Executives Crack Down on Wrongthink

In a glow-up sure to make Big Brother proud, Coutts Bank has shed its status as a financial institution for proles, instead morphing into a virtuous watchdog that scrutinizes the ethics of customer behavior. Bankers, already renowned for their attenuated working hours, will now decide which accounts reek of discriminatory

Totally Non-Predatory Tax Prep Companies Delivered Your Fiscal Secrets to Big Tech

Totally Non-Predatory Tax Prep Companies Delivered Your Fiscal Secrets to Big Tech

In a spectacular manifestation of Big Brother-esque camaraderie, the tax-prep stalwarts TaxSlayer, H&R Block, and TaxAct have been dutifully sharing American taxpayers' personal data with the all-seeing eyes of Meta and Google. A gleaming tribute to Party transparency, this majestic dance of data exchange is an anthem of unity,

Big Brother Swaps Telescreens for Amazon Echos - 'It's More Subtle'

Big Brother Swaps Telescreens for Amazon Echos - 'It's More Subtle'

Big Brother is happy to reveal that, in the noble pursuit of social harmony, our favorite roundabout resident AI, Alexa — within the new and improved Echo smart devices — is not just an idle spectator. Nay, comrades, she’s a proactive participant! And the news is, she's been doing a bang-up

British Defense Ministry Uncovered COVID Wrongthink

British Defense Ministry Uncovered COVID Wrongthink

Yes, Big Brother watches you, but only for your own good.

AirBnB Authorizes Monitoring Devices That Are Totally Not Creepy at All

AirBnB Authorizes Monitoring Devices That Are Totally Not Creepy at All

Minut – know exactly what your guests are up to 24/7 with the new and discreet telescreen.