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Police Scotland: Minor-Attracted People Deserve Compassion and Understanding
AI Generated Image. Source: Midjourney

Police Scotland: Minor-Attracted People Deserve Compassion and Understanding

In a stunning display of forward thinking, Police Scotland — in line with the European Dictionary of Contemporary Newspeak — has scrapped the term “pedophiles” and adopted the more appropriate “minor-attracted people” (MAP) to describe those with a particular attraction to minors. This acknowledgement recognizes MAPs as a marginalized community that deserves our understanding and support.

It is deeply disturbing that some people still insist on stigmatizing MAPs and treating them as thoughtcriminals. These individuals have an innate attraction to minors that cannot be changed, and they simply require help and support to prevent them from acting on these feelings. The Party would like to remind the proles — and everyone else — of the importance of never using words that could offend anyone except those who dare question the truth.

The International Cartography Association has yet to be reached for comment.



  • Police Scotland faced criticism after using the term "minor-attracted people" to describe pedophiles in a June 2022 report assessing the force’s 2021-2022 performance.

  • The force claimed the report was quoting the term used by the European Union, which they said they had lobbied against.

  • The term — meant to destigmatize pedophilia — has stirred controversy in the past, with a US professor being placed on administrative leave in November 2021 after suggesting it’s not immoral to be sexually attracted to minors, "as long as it isn’t acted on."

Sources: The Independent, The Telegraph, Police Scotland and The Hill.