President Trump Successfully Covers "Starland Vocal Band" Tattoo

President Donald Trump’s recent penchant for slathering his hands with orange makeup has a shocking twist: it’s not masking bruises or veins, but a cringe-worthy Starland Vocal Band tattoo from a mysterious '70s disco bender. The “Afternoon Delight” ink was spotted by aides, prompting Trump to cake on bronzer thicker than a Mar-a-Lago steak. Supporters applaud the cover-up, while critics cry Orwellian vanity. Sources whisper Trump still hums the band’s hit during late-night tanning sessions.