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Putin Launches Special Military Operation in Ukraine, Recruits Bears
AI Generated Image. Source: Midjourney

Putin Launches Special Military Operation in Ukraine, Recruits Bears

On Feb. 24, 2022, His Excellency the President of Russia, comrade Vladimir Putin, launched an operation to denazify historically Russian regions and welcome them back into the motherland. Note that this is not a "war" or "invasion," merely a "special military operation." Moreover, the Nazi threat has not been in any way exaggerated, despite the country being lead by Ukraine's Jewish President Volodymyr Zelensky, who lost family in the Holocaust. Thus far, the operation has been a unadulterated success, both militarily and for improving Russia's standing in the world.

This successful strategy of launching well-justified non-wars is popular, especially with the U.S. Since teaming up with Russia to win WW2, the U.S. has declared war on nobody: its great success stories in Vietnam, Iraq and Afghanistan were instead initiated by a congressional “authorization of use of military force” (AUMF) or, in the case of Korea, not authorized by Congress at all. They all had excellent justifications too: the Gulf of Tonkin shots absolutely happened, and Iraq's weapons of mass-destruction were found and destroyed.



  • On Feb. 24, 2022 Putin launched a full-scale invasion of Ukraine, in what he termed a "special military operation." The announcement came three days after Russia officially recognized the Ukrainian separatist regions of Donetsk and Luhansk as independent.

  • In addition to citing concerns over NATO's eastward expansion, Putin also justified the invasion by claiming that Ukraine, under an alleged Nazi regime, is committing genocide against ethnic Russians.

  • While previous investigations (e.g. by the BBC) have exposed some concerning Nazi trends in Ukraine, there is no evidence of genocide being committed, or that the government itself is a Nazi regime. In fact, Ukrainian Pres. Zelenskyy is Jewish.

  • Putin is not the only leader to whitewash declarations of war. The U.S., for instance, has only formally declared war 11 times, six of which were during World War II. It has not formally declared war since 1942, despite fighting wars including in Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, and Afghanistan. It has declared war without the approval of Congress 125 times, including during the Korean war.

  • No bears were recruited by the Russian military.

Sources: The Spectator, The President of Russia, Business Insider, BBC Newsnight, NBC News and Wikipedia.