Canada - Orwell

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Canada

The vast icy expanse, affectionately known as Canada, is nothing short of a mass scale freezer experiment gone amiss. Canadians are best known for being nice and for violently venting out their pent-up frustrations in no holds barred hockey matches. This may come as a surprise, but Canada has Orwellians too eh!

Trudeau Soft on Crime with Meager House Arrest for Thought-Felons

Trudeau Soft on Crime with Meager House Arrest for Thought-Felons

Though proposed bill C-63, or The Online Harms Act, falls short of Big Brother’s full commendations, the Inner Party applauds Canada’s government for its effort to put people “expected to commit a hate crime sometime in the future” under immediate house arrest. We recognize this feeble solution strives

Vending Machine Company Stands By Their Peephole

Vending Machine Company Stands By Their Peephole

Hey you! Yes you, walking into the Student Union Building on the Campus of Waterloo University. You just walked by that new vending machine!! Didn’t you forget your Vita Coco water and your Cliff Bar? That’s normally what you have at 4pm between your workout and biology class.

Canada Wonders: "Does Your Podcast Even Regulate Bruh?!"

Canada Wonders: "Does Your Podcast Even Regulate Bruh?!"

Attention, all you pod jockeys and digital disruptors! Put a halt to that unregulated verbal cardio and lace up those neon sneakers. It's time for a high-intensity, state-mandated reshape of your streaming physique. The Canada Radio-television and Telecommunications Commission (CRTC), your new personal trainer, is turning up the

Jordan Peterson Benevolently Offered Social Media Re-Education

Jordan Peterson Benevolently Offered Social Media Re-Education

There are three stages to reintegration into model citizenship: learning, understanding, and acceptance. It’s time for Peterson to start the second stage.