Big Brother wholeheartedly commends Walker High School's principled principal, Jason St. Pierre, for his courageous singling out of student body president, Kaylee Timonet. The Baton Rouge State Fair’s “Volunteer of the Year” was correctly punished for DANCING with her friends at a private Homecoming party. Principal St.
Big Brother is elated to report that surveillance in our public schools has reached an all-time high and is still growing! In this educational landscape where budgets for needless education-related expenses are ever-narrowing, the line item for cameras, microphones, and other spy-tech fun is more bloated than ever. Yay! Our
TED’s most commendable act, holding back Coleman Hughes’ well-researched, yet challenging talk on color blindness, brings Big Brother great joy. Tacking on a post-presentation rebuttal ensures the more palatable view is heard, branding Hughes’ TED Talk as 'less-than' and constructing a controversy-free future. Kudos to the Heads
Amidst debates in the New York City Council about the fate of historical figures like Columbus, Washington, and Jefferson decorating the holy halls of government buildings, the sentiment seems clear: Buon viaggio, Columbus! Does Italy yearn for your return? Your times were brutal, but so were you. And Washington, surely
Good citizens of Oceania, and of course, the diligent souls of Florida, Big Brother offers his heartfelt commendation! The illustrious Sunshine State has championed our noble mission with the Expansion of the Parental Rights In Education Act, a brilliant directive to shield the young minds of Florida public schools from
In a masterful display of intellectual prowess, Florida has reaffirmed its dedication to shaping the minds of the future by rejecting specific textbooks from its schools. The state’s revered leader, Governor DeSantis, seems to have taken a page from the history books, by quite literally removing pages from history
Attention, dear citizens of our color-blind utopia! Big Brother is pleased to announce that the Party's innovative thought-clarifying bureau, Reframing Race, has launched "Contains Strong Language," the latest Newspeak guide to linguistic enlightenment. No more "dark times," comrades, only "gently shaded periods of
In a spectacular manifestation of Big Brother-esque camaraderie, the tax-prep stalwarts TaxSlayer, H&R Block, and TaxAct have been dutifully sharing American taxpayers' personal data with the all-seeing eyes of Meta and Google. A gleaming tribute to Party transparency, this majestic dance of data exchange is an anthem