Sep 13, 2024 Netanyahu Celebrates Start of NFL Season by Moving Goalposts on Gaza War In a move worthy of Hall of Fame enshrinement, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has decided to celebrate the new NFL season by moving the goalposts on the Gaza peace process. As ceasefire hopes sputter like an underinflated football, Netanyahu, ever the strategist, has declared that victory will now require
Sep 5, 2024 Wall Street Journal Restructuring Coincidentally Excludes Free Press Chief Big Brother congratulates Wall Street Journal reporter Selina Cheng for her recent election as chairperson of the Hong Kong Journalists Association. On an unrelated note, Big Brother would like to send condolences for Selena Cheng’s subsequent dismissal from her job as a reporter for the Wall Street Journal in
Aug 30, 2024 Flying While Thinking: How Your Opinions Could Land You on the TSA's Watchlist In a bold move to protect the homeland, the Transportation Security Administration (TSA) has updated the venerable "Quiet Skies" watchlist. This security measure, originally formed to keep the country safe from terrorists, now aims to keep the skies safe from an even more grievous threat to national security
Aug 21, 2024 Russia and NATO Agree On One Thing: Jailing Dissidents Two Minutes Hate: Russia & NATO allies jailing protestors for war dissent is the correct way to silence traitors. Cease-fire? Big Brother forbids it! pic.twitter.com/5KZyOs4oFp — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) September 11, 2024 Russia and its enemies to the West. Two rivals separated by an intractable and irreconcilable hatred.
Aug 20, 2024 Pentagon's Secret Anti-Vax Campaign Successfully Undermines China, Incidentally Kills Innocent Filipinos Big Brother applauds! As US & China bicker during COVID, disinfo campaigns undermined Chinese vaccines in the Philippines. Mission accomplished: two wrongs do make a right! pic.twitter.com/0v6lOYnvPI — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) September 5, 2024 Sometimes during a potentially catastrophic global crisis, natural enemies are forced to work together
Jul 24, 2024 Republicans Doublethink Campus Free Speech Republicans ban Gaza protests but expand speech rights for right-wing voices. It's not hypocrisy—it's doublethink. Approved! pic.twitter.com/djnE0UcXDD — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) September 25, 2024 You may have noticed that prominent Republican leaders are curtailing free speech on college campuses to ban Gaza War
Jul 24, 2024 Train Facial Recognition Concludes: Passengers All Grumpy Big Brother is proud to boast that passengers at major rail hubs like Euston, Waterloo, and Manchester Piccadilly station have been silently observed without their notice. Amazon-powered facial recognition has been covertly installed by the UK’s Network Rail to monitor and analyze passengers’ emotional state. Critics calling this surveillance
Jun 19, 2024 Paul Nakasone Heads to OpenAI: Brings Your Private Data with Him Big Brother approves: OpenAI hires ex-NSA chief Paul Nakasone to ensure AI benefits humanity. Trust your secrets with the best! pic.twitter.com/trUT0AvvJ5 — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) July 16, 2024 Trailblazing tech giant Open AI has secured former NSA and US Cyber Command chief, General Paul Nakasone, to serve on
Jun 10, 2024 America Smears Americans Who Wrongthink About Ukraine War is complex, but the Russo-Ukrainian conflict is solely Putin's fault. Dissenting voices like Sachs and Greenwald are wrong. Align with the Inner Party's vision or face Room 101! pic.twitter.com/RZzvNaQONd — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) June 28, 2024 War is complex. History is nuanced. Champions
Jun 6, 2024 Brazilian Bird Control: Alexandre de Moraes Cages Wrongthinkers Big Brother offers a congratulatory squawk to Supreme Court Justice Alexandre de Moraes for jailing individuals for their incendiary posts on Twitter. These bold steps stamp out what support remains for vanquished former President Jair Bolsonaro. Fake news, like a flock of birds, is migratory, and unfounded social media fervor
Jun 6, 2024 New York State of Mind: If There’s No Crime, We’ll Create One NY AG Letitia James strikes again, protecting America from crimethink by targeting VDARE's wrongthink on immigration. Victory for Big Brother! pic.twitter.com/3expMLYwEn — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) August 7, 2024 NY Attorney General Letitia James can tack on another victory in her fight to protect America from crimethink.
May 10, 2024 Welcome to Rwanda! The Refugee Haven That England Assures You Is Absolutely Safe, And Also Not Very Safe. Ready for adventure? The UK’s plan sends asylum seekers to "safe" Rwanda—a thrilling destination with scenic views and exciting dangers. Big Brother approves! pic.twitter.com/cGK43MexOK — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) August 14, 2024 It’s a lovely time of year to travel to the Great Rift
May 8, 2024 Who’s That Lady?! NPR's Maher Turns Authoritarian Heads Katherine Maher, former Wikimedia CEO, now shaping NPR, dismisses the "open internet" as chaotic. Big Brother's censorship crush is real! pic.twitter.com/7RLSAzL8cP — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) September 19, 2024 Katherine Maher, a beacon of righteousness in a world scarred by blind reverence for the truth,
Apr 26, 2024 Turn Your Head and Cough a Sigh of Relief: Doctors Abandon Transgender Research Victory! Big Brother frowns upon debating children's gender therapy. Experts fear speaking out, ensuring conformity over evidence. pic.twitter.com/JZnUN7EajV — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) May 30, 2024 Victory is ours! Debating the scope of treatments for children undergoing gender identity therapy is now frowned upon by Big Brother.
Apr 25, 2024 White House Helpfully Erases Biden Gaffe From Official Record Celebrate the Biden administration's dedication to a correct history. Don't dwell on "inaudible" stage directions. Mistakes happen... or do they? pic.twitter.com/VYYnZa1rfq — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) June 6, 2024 Despite what you may have heard, US President Joe Biden did not, in fact,
Apr 23, 2024 HP Squashes Ink Rebellion Big Brother's favorite, HP, ensures only official ink works. Your usage is monitored, and printing is controlled, securing your obedient future. pic.twitter.com/PlOFkwxuBr — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) May 24, 2024 Big Brother’s new favorite Silicon Valley stalwart, Hewlett-Packard, has improved its products to be even more
Apr 22, 2024 Public Radio’s Private Parts are Showing NPR's curated narrative is molding minds, erasing dissent, and paving the way for a compliant society. Big Brother is pleased. pic.twitter.com/bnbUR5kllL — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) May 14, 2024 Big Brother is so ecstatic that NPR, a radio station dedicated to the public, is finally guiding Americans
Apr 19, 2024 New Law Passed to Keep J.K. Rowling Off Social Media J.K. Rowling's social media discomfort unites all. Scotland's Hate Crime Act silences dissent, ensuring state-prescribed opinions prevail. pic.twitter.com/ztzhTPGhXy — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) June 13, 2024 People across the spectrum of cultural politics have united on one topic: the things J.K. Rowling posts
Apr 10, 2024 Brits Narrow the Pool of Benefits Fraudsters to “Everyone” In an effort to curb £8B in annual misappropriation of benefits, the British government aims to loosen the reins on the confining Data Protection and Digital Information Bill. The government seeks broad powers to inspect the bank accounts of any person receiving a state pension and other benefits, in other
Apr 5, 2024 Trudeau Soft on Crime with Meager House Arrest for Thought-Felons Though proposed bill C-63, or The Online Harms Act, falls short of Big Brother’s full commendations, the Inner Party applauds Canada’s government for its effort to put people “expected to commit a hate crime sometime in the future” under immediate house arrest. We recognize this feeble solution strives
Apr 4, 2024 Putin Victorious Despite Only Winning 87% of Vote Big Brother applauds Putin's narrow reelection victory, despite only 87% support. He should aim higher, like Obiang's 97% or al-Assad's 95%. Aim higher, President Putin! pic.twitter.com/uHEgbkqVUh — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) June 11, 2024 In a razor-thin result reminiscent of the 2000 US
Apr 3, 2024 NSO Happy to Hand Over Pegasus Codes if You Can Just Click On This Link Real Quick. US Judge orders NSO Group to reveal Pegasus code, used to hack 1,400 WhatsApp users. Transparency ensures safety. Big Brother applauds. pic.twitter.com/TAlhHeThP7 — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) August 2, 2024 In a notable legal decision, US Judge Phyllis Hamilton directed the Israel-based NSO Group to disclose the source
Mar 22, 2024 Chinese Takeout: House Orders TikTok Ban U.S. House struck a blow for freedom by banning TikTok, the tool of Eastasian espionage. Trust in American tech only! The end of conflict is near. pic.twitter.com/NFuIlLRI0Z — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) April 9, 2024 Evil Eastasian social media giant TikTok is on the fast track to removal
Mar 18, 2024 Vending Machine Company Stands By Their Peephole Attention, Waterloo University students! Invenda's Smart Vending machine observes your habits for your benefit. No privacy invasion here, just optimized snack choices. pic.twitter.com/kW4PwP6OlA — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) May 8, 2024 Hey you! Yes you, walking into the Student Union Building on the Campus of Waterloo University.
Mar 17, 2024 Spring Cleaning FBI Style: A Fragrant Reform Embrace the renewal of spring with refreshed surveillance laws! Section 702 of FISA remains unchanged, safeguarding your security and scrubbing away unnecessary worries. pic.twitter.com/dsZ85f2gIj — Orwell (parody) (@goodthink1984) May 7, 2024 Spring has sprung and it’s time to dust the cobwebs off Section 702 of the Foreign
